18 weeks ago I began a journey. A journey to 26.2 miles. In 2 more days and a wake up I will lace up my shoes and pound the pavement. I have been pounding pavement for 18 weeks, but this time there is a finish line....a finish line.
The last two weeks I have tapered my runs. It's kinda funny when my husband asked me week 17 "How long is your long run this week?" When I replied "12" he said, "Oh. That's nothing." 18 weeks ago 12 miles seemed daunting, impossible, and just last week it was "nothing".
So here I sit. I am not even sure what to say. I have been terrified of an injury. My left knee has been bothering me a bit. During my 12 miler last week I shorted it to 10. It wasn't anything major, but I figured why risk it?? Tonight I was supposed to run 4, but I am so tired. At this point I think rest is more important than 4. Tomorrow I will run my last 3 before the gun goes off Saturday morning.
So here I sit, laptop in bed writing my last entry into my journal before I run a marathon, a marathon. It's kinda funny. 6 years ago I sat in my office (I was a property manager at one point. Quit--go figure:). I looked over at my friend Robb and said, "I am going to run a marathon". I found one too. It was the NYC marathon, and it happened to fall on my birthday. Needless to say, that never happened. On my 27th bday I marathoned it all right, all night in a smokey bar. Tonight I text my friend and said "It's not the NYC, but it's a marathon on my birthday!"
So here I sit, hydrating and carb loading, typing, sipping water, and crunching my apple. I have done all I can. I have put in the time, the miles, the TIME, and the MILES. I can only hope my body and my mind allow me to complete this task. At my current pace I am looking to finish anywhere between 5:45 and 6:00 hrs, it's not record setting by the world's standards, but it is by mine.
So here I sit, nervous, excited, scared, and proud. I am nervous because it's the toughest thing I have ever done, minus delivering a 9lb 15oz baby with no drugs. I am excited because what a feeling!!! I can't wait to run the 1st and the last mile of this race, now the other 24.2....well??? I am scared that the 89.9% I have put into this wasn't enough. I say 89% b/c I know my "A" game and I made some choices during my training to suit me, not my marathon. But what's a marathon medal without a life to go with it?? I am proud because for the last few weeks as I hit mile 2 in a long or a short run I cried, this is really going to happen. I have talked the talk and walked the walk, I made excuses, but I kept going. I didn't stop training when I realized I was SLOW!! I got out of bed at 4:30 am to beat the summer heat. I didn't quit on my marathon, and I didn't quit on me. For that I am proud.
So here I sit, 17lbs lighter. This morning's scale said 138.4, a far cry from the 155 just 18 weeks ago. I can run a single mile in under 11 minutes without puking (almost). 18 weeks ago I told my sister I wanted to lose 10lbs and be able to run an 11 minute mile. I now have done both. (Now, that 11 minute mile is not consistent, but it can happen!!!!!) As the pounds came off my confidence returned. I began to feel better about myself, not just because I shed a few pounds, but the commitment I made that put me back in pre-baby jeans!!!
So here I sit, grateful, grateful for my family, my friends, and everyone who has supported me on this journey. This week I have received cards, a package, emails, and texts all wishing me luck and sending me love. To top that off we celebrated Baby E's first year on this sweet earth!! I am a wife, a mother, and friend who is blessed beyond words. This race is small potatoes when you compare it to the greatness that surrounds me daily. This isn't my race. I wish I could own it, but I couldn't do it without each one of you.
So here I sit, two days away from my 33rd birthday, two days away from the Savannah Rock and Roll Marathon.
So here I sit, ready to run.
Weeks 17&18: 35 miles
Lesson learned: Believing you can do something doesn't get it done. Doing it will.