Tuesday, October 18, 2011

When my mate met my soul, I could fly. Weeks 15&16

On the heels of my 20 miler week 15 started out pretty well. My confidence was booming, so booming I scraped my long long run to play with friends. I did squeeze in 2 short runs, but I axed my long run for a good time with an old college friend and his beautiful baby girl. Translation: I wanted to have FUN. I didn't want to RUN. Not the best approach to have when you are 5 weeks out and building up to a long run of 23 the following week.

So once I again I amped up my game the following week. Anybody else see a pattern here??? Week 16 was full it's own obstacles and hang ups, but these were definitely not FUN. The J crew started the week with Baby M excreting everything she ate from both ends of her tiny little body. She was knocked out on the couch all day Monday, which isn't always a bad thing, got a lot done, but at the expense of my sweet kid suffering. The rest of the week she slowly rebounded. I deloused the house with my fingers crossed that another J wouldn't fall victim to the bug. Our tummies were sparred, but Baby E apparently wanted some attention too. One minute we had a happy smiley baby, the next she was slumped in her highchair with a 103 fever!!! The fever lasted nearly 4 days. Blood work, urine samples, and three VERY long nights later her viral invasion was defeated by her tiny but tough immune system. We were all weak. We were all tired, but we were grateful that everyone was on the mend. Mommy and Daddy have managed to evade both sets of germs at this point, and despite the long week I managed to get in every mile.

During my first short run of the week I started off huffing. I mean I run a 13+ minute mile, but that night the wind was beneath me and I was rocking and rolling. I was running a "fast" 11 minute pace. I felt on fire. I was only doing a 5K, so I knew it wouldn't last long, so I kept pushing. During my last mile I was tired. I had almost thrown up, not once but twice. Anybody who has had a baby can tell you that sometimes when you cough, sneeze, laugh really hard, jump, well sometimes your bladder sends you a little reminder that you have given birth and leaves a little Hallmark greeting, ya pee a little. Not a lot, just enough for you to be reminded of the fact that you and your body will never be the same, so one can imagine what this is like after 2 back to back babies. As I gagged and held tightly to my dinner my bladder emailed me my Hallmark reminder. I ran on. A little pee, a lot of sweat, what's the difference?

I almost walked the last part of mile 3, but I yelled at myself "Push McGonnell PUSH". McGonnell is my maiden name. I started to pick it up, but as I ran I realized that I am a Jasionowski. I have always been spunky. I have always been fun. I have always been driven, just not accomplished until I met a boy in a blue polo and khaki pants. My life changed in that instant. Our courtship was quick. We were engaged within 6 months of meeting and married a year later. In those first 6 months I began my first "real" job. I was a manager with Ruby Tuesday pulling in great money for a 24yr old. I went from being a flighty 20 something to a grown up in almost an instant. Our first year of marriage was tough. I blamed him of course, but when you took a good at it it was me. I didn't like where I was in life. I didn't like who I was. It was me. I wanted more, not in my spouse, but in myself. After I started and stopped 3 careers in a years time I decided to go back to school. SJ was very familiar with the quitter in me and he looked at me and said "You have to do this". Two and half years later I did, nearly with honors. My college degree was so important to me for a long time I thought it was what filled me, what changed me, but during that run I realized how wrong I was.

In the last 7 years all of my dreams have come true. I am wife, a mother, a college grad, a loyal friend, I have a resume that will open doors for me when I return to work, I have it all. I love the spotlight and I manage to squeeze myself into whenever I can, but honestly I don't deserve it. My wonderful husband does. Some how the two of us together make magic. We don't have a love story worthy of Hollywood credits, but we have a way of making each other better. I say we, but I mean HE (just another attempt at sharing the spotlight). HE puts my needs above his own. He puts our children above that. He is an amazing man, that without him I don't know who I would be and honestly I don't think I want to. He has sat at home caring for our children as I have run over 300 miles during this training. He doesn't "get" running for 26.2, but he understands and supports my need. He always has. He always will. I became great when I married the best thing about me, my Jasionowski.

From here on out it's cake. 12, 8, RACE!!!! My 23 miler was exhausting, but I did it. I didn't cry this time. I am saving the energy for the finish line. I am ready to run.

Lesson Learned: My husband isn't my best friend-He is my everything.

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